The Story of Benchley: President of Grocery Store Land
Once upon a time, there was a grocery store. A lone grocery store in the forest. Everyone in the small town of Grocery Store Land went to this grocery store for their food. That’s where all the farmers sold their goods and that’s where everyone got their food to live. Everyone in the town were best buds in Grocery Store Land. Until one day, one fateful day, and army of Firebirds came from the sky. The fell from the sky and crushed the grocery store. The town was devastated. Where could they gather? Where would they enjoy the merry-making? Where would they get the food? Now it’s called No Grocery Store Land! Everyone got depressed. There were no goods. There was no oil left either. There was nothing. Gas prices went up. There was a shortage of all goods. But then there was this guy. He was the potato chip farmer. The potato chips were all special. You know how people are like “This one looks like Abraham Lincoln. This one looks like Squidward. It looks like that.” He would cut them to look exactly like that, like all different things. No two potato chips were the same. And his name was Benchley, Benchley the potato chip salesman. Bawchley: that’s what his friends called him. Then he stood up on the crushed giant pile of Firebirds and he said “My friends! Let us not be sad! Let us rejoice! For this is a new beginning in Grocery Store Land! We can make this town whatever we want! We don’t have to be Grocery Store Land anymore, no! We’re not gonna make Grocery Store Land great again! We’re starting over! From the ashes of the Firebirds was born a sparkling utopia and Benchley was the president. Bawchley: that’s what his friends called him. So Bawchley and his wife lived atop the tallest tower. This was called the Benchley Castle. The Bawchley Castle: that’s what his servants called him. But they all lived in this castle. The castle was built out of broken Firebird parts. They made best use of their resources and before they knew it, everything was back to normal. OR WAS IT?! Everything felt the same, but that’s only because they don’t remember what it was like back then, how simple life was, how they could just do to the grocery store in Grocery Store Land and buy some bleach or some gas or a potato chip from Uncle Benchley or Bawchley of they were neighbors, that’s what his neighbors called him. But now it’s the hustle and bustle of high tech country. It’s very small, but we still have state, central, and local governments. It’s just like four little squares. But they’re shaped like the potato chips like Benchley’s favorite potato chips. So it was like the castle walls surrounded the area and they all lived in their own separate things. But because of this, because Grocery Store Land was a close neighbor of Toy Store Land. Benchley went up to Toy Store Land and said “Hey, Jeffrey Giraffe (that’s the leader of Toy Store Land if you didn’t know) come and join my kingdom. We’ll call it Benchley Land” Jeffrey Giraffe was like “I think this is a profitable conglomerate that we will form. Economics.” So they came together and the two towns were absorbed together in one mass: Benchley Land. 2017. But because of this they never really got along in the first place. That’s why they were separated into small towns, right. You have Toy Store Land and you have Grocery Store Land. Two very different places, two very different cultures, conflicting cultures together. Jeffrey Giraffe said to his people “Do not uh hurt these Grocery Store-I mean Benchley-those other people, don’t hurt those other people! Don’t hurt them, they’re just as confused as we are! Their town was destroyed!” But the people said “SCREW YOU JEFFREY GIRAFFE! TARGET SELLS TOYS CHEAPER!” So they killed Jeffrey Giraffe in anger. It was an angry mob! So you have the Toylists and you have the Benchists and together within the castle walls there was an unending war. UNENDING. IT NEVER ENDED. UNTIL IT ENDED. For 12 years. 12 years is a long time. But, Benchley sat atop the highest room in the tallest tower and he said to his wife “When will the bloodshed end?” And she said “I don’t know, Bawchley.” And then all of a sudden an arrow flies through the air, strikes his wife right in the chin. She’s dead. Her final words “Bawchley..” Benchley is angry. He just wanted to go back to the simple life it was in the beginning. But it’s too far gone. He;s become the very thing he swore to destroy. At this point, all of his people, all of the Benchists had been killed. Every single last one of them. Except for Benchley. Benchley sat in the most protected room in the entire planet: the highest room in the tallest tower. The Toylists start running up the stairs so Benchley grabs his potato chip cutting tool, he takes his potato cutter to defend himself. Not only is it a sword but it is a shield as well. He stands upon his throne and the door to the most protected room goes loud thud noise. The door shudders. He hears the cries of an angry people, an angry culture of which he does not understand! But he will try. The door is knocked down. And he is not in there. They cannot find Benchley! Where did Benchley go?! They look around everywhere, they flip over the chairs and the tables and the bed and everything. And then. The chairs. Explode. The highest room in the tallest tower kills every last Toy Landian. The only man left on Earth is Benchley. The loneliest man in the world. And the richest man in the world as well. It’s lonely at the top as they say. He owns all the world’s possessions. He owns everything. But he wanted a small town like his old town. But it became something, it became too much. He thought it would be better for him but it wasn’t. Now it is just him. Things like this happen in the twilight zone. That’s it.